


womb

by adelheid



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't read, F/M, Fucked Up, Mommy Issues, Mother Complex, Mother-Son Relationship, Parent/Child Incest, Sweet and Dark, really weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:46:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21995797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelheid/pseuds/adelheid
Summary: TROS spoilers. Ben places his hand over Rey's belly and gives her his life force, but in doing so, he saddles her with a Force-child. Himself.Or the fucked-up AU where Rey has to give birth to Ben to bring him back. Inspired by the movie Womb (2010).
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 102





	womb

**Author's Note:**

> full disclosure: i don't expect anyone to want to read this mess lol, i am mostly writing this for myself, because i want to explore this idea. but if folks want to join me, they're more than welcome!

The night after his death, she falls into a deep sleep.

She did not think she would be able to. 

She's been crying intermittently, hiding her grief from the crew who are still celebrating by the fireside. Rey doesn't want to dampen their spirit. She understands the cathartic need for revelry. That’s why she retires early.

She lies down in her cot and tries to come to terms with what she’s feeling. She lost him before she even had him. 

_ Ben.  _

But the more she dwells on the unfairness of it all, the groggier she feels, until she can hardly make out what is real and isn’t, anymore. Eyelids flutter shut. 

When she wakes up, hours later, her throat is parched. She drinks two canisters of water without breathing. Then she runs to the ‘fresher and throws up. She’s barely eaten anything for the past twenty-four hours, yet what comes out of her mouth is dark and viscous, like thickened blood. 

Rey coughs and shudders. She wipes her mouth and sits on the floor with her head in her hands. She feels rotten inside, as if Ben did not give her his life, as if she  _ stole  _ it from him. 

The trouble is, she’s not really mourning him. Her sadness is muddled by something else, something  _ alien _ and incomprehensible. She feels...confusion. A lack of closure. 

_ It’s not over yet _ , she suddenly thinks. And a fresh bout of nausea makes her clutch the toilet seat. 

After that, she takes a shower. She stands under the hot water until her skin prunes. Rey lifts her hand to her belly. She remembers the touch of his giant hand, the warmth of his skin, the tenderness of his calloused fingers. He touched her so innocently. And yet for some reason, she thinks of his hand unraveling the rags around her waist and touching bare skin, bold fingers exploring her body, mapping out unknown territory. Rey imagines his touch leaving little pinpricks of Force in its wake, the hesitant swipe of his thumb against a nipple enough to undo her. She thinks of his large, sensuous mouth ghosting over her collarbone, making her weak. She slides her own fingers down, unashamedly. She thinks of him, of his face, his sweet, roguish smile after she kissed him, his hands around her waist, pulling her hungrily to him, his fingers at the base of her skull, holding her there, thrumming with power. She flicks her clit until everything builds inside her, and she thinks about the innocence of that moment, the improbability of being alive, Ben, Ben,  _ Ben _ , and she comes  _ hard _ , unexpectedly, groans and gulps water, thighs clenching. 

When she finally falls down in bed again, she feels like a ragged doll. Stuffed and empty. Angry, yet certain that this can’t be it. There must be  _ more _ .

In the morning, she wakes up to a strange vibration inside of her. The ground seems to tremble. At first she thinks the planet’s core is shifting. Some kind of earthquake. Or worse, Destroyers coming to blow them up. 

But they won. And the planet is still. 

Rey grips the edge of her cot. The steady pulse of the Force is always there, in the marrow of her being. 

Rey listens closely. She shuts her eyes and  _ listens _ .

There’s a second pulse, a second strand of Force inside her, echoing her own. 

_ Ben _ , she thinks unwittingly.

It has to be him. She recognizes his signature. Did she absorb him when he gave himself to her? Is he a living part of her now? Might she be able to summon him? To see him as a ghost, at least?

If she can see Luke and Leia, perhaps -

Rey focuses all her being on this second strand. She breathes in and out slowly, locks her body in place. She opens her palms and calls out to it.

_ Ben...Ben...be with me. _

_ Ben...be with me. _

She does this for what feels like hours until there’s a knock at the door.

“Rey? You okay in there?” Rose inquires. “We were wondering if you wanted any breakfast.” 

Rey opens her eyes with a frustrated hitch in her throat. 

She has to take a moment to calm herself, otherwise she’d sound rude.

“Thank you, Rose, I’m all right! Just a bit knackered. I’ll be down in a bit.”

Rey lies back down and stares up at the metal patchwork of the ceiling. Ben has not answered her call, and yet she feels - she felt  _ him  _ inside her. That familiar feeling of sharing a pulse with another person. One soul in two bodies. Except now there’s just her, just her body. 

There can’t be another body, can it? 

_ Another body inside me _ , she thinks, before dismissing the idea. 

She just needs time to coax out his spirit, she thinks.

She puts her hand over her belly. 

Time. Time will help. 

Rey swallows thickly. She feels something is about to happen. Something she won’t be able to control.

She also realizes she’s very, very hungry.

The kind of hunger that once used to plague her on lonely nights in Jakku.

She gets up with a groan and goes to join the others. She will eat for herself, and for him too. 

  
  



End file.
